Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
