I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
