I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
