before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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