Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
