That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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