I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
