At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
