so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
COCAINE IS GR8
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
