Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
