i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
