we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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