I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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