she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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