The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
