I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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