im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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