2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Boobs speak an international language.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
