I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
