It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
