Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
