why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
