due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
