Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
