He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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