i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
