think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
