In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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