That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is wine microwaveable?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
