Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
