What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
