yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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