i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
