She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is wine microwaveable?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
