Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
