You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
