But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
