try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
