You really coming over, don't trick.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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