In the future we'll all be gay
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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