Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
