Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
