lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
