i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
