You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
