i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
