What a fucking waste of an outfit
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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