what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize