This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
