So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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