I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize