When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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