felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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