Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
