i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
