Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
