you win again, gameday.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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