Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
