And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
