i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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