I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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