Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
