Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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