On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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