this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
