haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
