woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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