escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
